Hey guys, please note Jasper's hesitation--that's key for the future!
I just finished rewatching the film Amadeus, which may be my favorite movie of all time and has Literally Changed My Life. If you haven't seen it, it's the story of a man (Salieri) who wants more than anything to be a great composer. He works his butt off his whole life to land a job as court composer and seems to have a pretty good set-up going on . . . until the day he meets Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Knowing deep in his soul that Mozart is the great composer he can only dream of becoming, Salieri slowly consumes himself with jealousy and dedicates his life to ruining Mozart's.
I was, like, a super jealous kid, and envy is still the number one Mortal Sin I grapple with every day. But when I was little there didn't seem to be any stories about jealous little girls--except girls who were fighting over boys, and that was never really my thing (what a little feminist--men don't validate me, the praise of strangers validates me!). If anything, jealousy was reserved for one-note bad guys--popular girls or evil queens who are jealous of the heroine's innate goodness or beauty or whatever. And man, it sucks only seeing your emotional truth reflected in villain characters. (Not that Salieri is a good guy, but our sympathies are obviously meant to go to him.) Amadeus was the first story to really reach out to me and say, "It's okay, I get where you're coming from." It also said, "Hey, jealousy is a super powerful emotion, and it sucks to have it, but if you act on it--even if you succeed in acting on it in every possible way--you still won't be happy. And you might end up a raving old man in a 18th century mental hospital. So like. Stop?"
Also, please pray for me--my ancient external harddrive finally corrupted the main PSD file I was using to thumbnail and rough out all the pages in Chapter 2. I think I have back-ups of the pages I was working on this week at work but I won't know until tomorrow morning. 8| Yikes, I probably should replace this old external, huh? It keeps randomly disconnecting (as it did, this time, while it was saving the file) and it's probably more dangerous than useful at this point.