This week I learned that my legal name change has been processed, which means--that's right--it is now illegal to deadname me! The woke mob will send you to prison for 1 million years if you do not refer to me by my preferred name and pronouns! (This is a joke, in case it wasn't obvious--I still haven't gotten around to changing every instance of my name as it appears on *checks notes* this very website.)

The thing to do now is to start updating all my important legal documents and accounts to my new legal name. For that, I will need certified copies of my legal name change . . . court order? Declaration? Thing? Which prompts the question: 1) What is that? 2) Where do I get it? 3) And how? None of these questions were answered by the minute order (which is different from the court order, apparently) I received informing me of this whole thing, but I'm hoping I can get this all figured out this week.